FUTURE BLINDNESS

For Christmas my grandmother gave me a really nice set of pots and pans, and I’ve taken this as a convenient justification for trying to cook more. For the last few years I’ve been reading up on different recipe sites and cooking maybe once every two weeks, but I was shocked at how little money I would save for each meal. Often I’d end up with an unimpressively small amount of food that cost a couple dollars more than a burger and a beer at a local bar.

This time around, I’m trying to cook basically every meal I eat, and I have found this to be far more economical—especially if you stay away from grandiose attempts at steaks or other premium cuts of meat. It turns out those actually are cheaper at a restaurant, lots of the time, especially if you now have a reputation for radically undercooking meats while simultaneously somehow burning the outsides.

Unless there are strident objections in the comments, I’ll be trying to share recipes (or rather, links to recipes) on this blog, along with my notes/changes as I make them. Some quick non-main-meal tips that are working for me:

Clementines
I started buying those awesome wooden boxes of clementines when I noticed that my ma always has them around when we visit. They’re a great sweet snack that also leaves your hands smelling delicious. Don’t let people see you sniffing your hands, though, as it is in some circles considered to be untoward. I also really enjoy peeling the clementines, especially during conversation, because I can use a hilarious hunting knife given to me by my good friend Jeffrey. Nothing livens up a dull meeting like fixing yourself a nice fruit treat with a knife that nobody knew you were carrying. I am also assuming that clementines are good for you.

Cooking a Sandwich
This one is also pretty obvious and ordinary, but I really like it—if I’m at home for lunch, I’ll make two open face sandwiches layered thusly: slice of bread, very sharp cheddar cheeses, fatfree turkey slices (store brand, quite a bargain), maybe a lil more cheese if I’m really hungry, and spicy mustard.
While you’re making the sandwiches, you’re also preheating the oven to 350. By the time you’re done with the prep, put the two loaded breadslices on a pan and cook for like 15 minutes. It’s key to cook until the turkey is suffering a little bit and browning/curling at the edges, as this changes the taste and ensures the whole sandwich will be hot. When the timer dings, take the breads out (you can just use your hands, they’re not super-hot) and assemble them into one closed-face sandwich. Cut it in half so it seems like you’re in a restaurant, and eat it, mentally noting that this sandwich costs less than a dollar to make.

Now for some recent main courses and links to the real recipes:

Chili Including Bacon
This is a great one that I’ve made three or four times, once even tripling the recipe for a bunch of people. It’s really flavorful, so you can let people add their own spice if you have Sensitive guests, or you can really spice it up and then add even more spice as a garnish if you’re alone.
I’ve never used the meat they want, as it’s quite expensive. At Harlo’s recommendation, I used ground beef the first time and ground turkey the other times, and it’s always fantastic. I also left out the thyme and coriander because those are unreasonably priced where I live. To make up for this, I add a fair piece more cayenne, red pepper flakes, and chili powder and it still comes out great.
This takes a hell of a long time to make, so don’t start it when you’re already hungry. It simmers for like two hours, and the smell during those two hours is more than enough to build an appetite. It keeps forever but leftovers disappear quickly, a perfect paradox.

Southern Corn Bread With More Cheese Than Corn
Goes well with the chili mentioned above. I could not believe how easy this was to make. You can put in more whole corn (just use the whole can), and I should have put in little jalapeno bits, as it is a little bland otherwise. This isn’t the cornbread to make if you’re hoping to garnish with honey or syrup. It’s more of a savory juice-mop than a breakfast thing.

Collard Greens Any Old Way
This recipe is by no means a firm one. You can ditch up to half the ingredients. I like the apple vinegar, though, for its nice mix of sweet and sour. You can even omit the bacon if you have a little grease to get the aromatics going in the beginning. You can lose the broth, because that’s usually not around anyways. You really can’t mess this up. Use kale instead. Mix kale and greens (I find the greens are easier to trim and prep). You can have huge rough chunks of garlic if you already cut your hand once that night and don’t want to risk it again. You better leave the hotpepper flakes in there, though. They’re rad, especially with garlic (sauteed or even nearly raw) backing it up.

Carbonnade On Top Of Ordinary Pasta
You should get egg noodles for this, but don’t break the bank. This could also go well with a baguette. You can’t use angel hair or the other delicate pastas, though, because the sauce is a little watery. I bet my ma would know how to thicken it up (holler in the comments, ma), but I don’t.
I am suspicious that you need two kinds of broth here. Aren’t you already sort of making beef broth? By cooking the beef? Next time I will find out, as I resent an unnecessary plurality of ingredients. This recipe doesn’t make an incredible amount of food, so I think it’s okay to add some more meat or other stuff. I added a hell of a lot of parsnips to this and it was fantastic. Also, I used Smuttynose Winter Warmer as the beer. I would do that again. Something tangier than Guinness seems to be called for.